Understanding Goodbye
by NBR
Summary: Dana reflecting on her father and the feelings she felt on his departure


None of the people mentioned in this narrative belong to me. They are all characters, which are licensed to Harmony Gold.  
  
Understanding Good-bye It was tough when mom and dad left. Not so much at first I should say.but as days turned into months and months in to years the memory of dad holding me, not wanting to let go is what I seemed to remember the most. Three years later I learned that it was dad who made the decision to go along with Admiral Hunter to Tirol. I never understood the unspoken bond the two of them shared until I myself walked away from the 15th ATAC years later. People say that dad and the Admiral were connected by more than just friendship or camaraderie . but by destiny. Whatever it was I couldn't understand it then and I felt as if dad had chosen the SDF-3 over me. With time those feelings turned into resentment, how could he leave me like this I would ask myself. I hated him for that. Still, through all my years of anger and resentment I always remembered that last embrace. My "three" godfathers told me stories of the first Robotech War and as they talked about dad I honestly felt they had exaggerated the truth. How on earth could dad be the most feared and revered pilot in the RDF? Now mom I can see being someone you can fear but not dad. It didn't make sense. It didn't add up? All I remembered from him was his nonchalant attitude and his unearthly patience that he showed at home. His clam demeanor when things would go up in smoke! It was as if he was both mom and dad rolled up into one. It was hard for me to even imagine him as a pilot. He wore goofy glasses for crying out loud! With time my resentment got worse. My godfather Rico was the one who tried the hardest to get me to understand why dad had to leave. How important he was to the success of the Tirolian mission. I turned a deaf ear, and every time his name came up I felt it my obligation to walk out of the room or leave a few remarks on how I viewed this so called hero. Dad was not a hero but a fake. A fake as a pilot and as a dad, there is no way that he was even half the man my godfathers painted him out to be. And no one could say or do anything that would change the way I felt about him. I hated him so much for hurting me. When the Grants left for the mission they asked General Rolf Emerson to look after Bowie. The General accepted that responsibility and at the same time took the liberty to make sure I was always taken care of as well. General Emerson was one of the busiest men in the military, constantly on the move. Bowie and I hardly ever saw him but when we did it was always a treat. Without fail he was there for the special occasions. He never missed a birthday or recital and even made it to a few parent teacher meetings. The General was always there even if only for a snap shot of him holding us with a piece of birthday cake or a big present after one of Bowie's recitals. Then off he'd run to some top-secret meeting or an important appointment. But even as kids we knew that he cared for us and the effort he made never went unnoticed. I guess that's why I was so excited when godfather Rico told me that the General was going to take Bowie and I out for a private flight to celebrate my 12th birthday. I never even suspected that my spacey godfathers had asked the General to give the most important gift.the gift of understanding. It was my first time to Fokker airbase and as Bowie and I walked up to the gate with the General the MP on duty gave us each metal dog tags that they clipped around our necks. "Unc..er I mean General Emerson, sir. the dog tag the officer gave me is misspelled. It says Commander "C" Grant instead of Commander "B" Grant sir. You know, "B" for Bowie Grant." I looked down and sure enough those dummies messed up on mine too. Yah, they put Commander "M" Sterling instead of "D" Sterling. Its to bad too because these bad boys look real! "They are real" the General answered. "I figured since it was your birthday Dana I would spare no expense." The General said with a smirk. I looked at Bowie and told him not to worry because it was nothing a little magic marker couldn't fix! The General told us we had to first take the tour and as we walked though the base I remember getting a lot of stares. At first I figured it was because of the General but after awhile the men and women on the base would stop and salute as we walked by. "Over here" the General said and led us into a gallery with the words "Hero's of the War" over the entrance. The room was incredible with black and white pictures of different men and women. There in the middle were models of the development of the Veritech fighter and other flight mecha. Bowie and I were just in awe. The room was done in white and at the end of the room was the RDF Skull sigma. "Over here you two" the General called again. He was standing in front of a picture that I had seen before. "This is Roy Fokker, this base is named after him. He was the pilot to first test the Robotech fighter and was skull leader for the first half of the war. Have you two ever heard of the skull squadron?" yah, I answered feeling a little uneasy. "One more thing, you might find this interesting Bowie. Do you recognize this young lady?" "Hey, that's a picture of aunt Claudia" Bowie said. The picture was of Roy and Claudia walking hand and hand, wind blowing through his thick blond hair with skull one parked directly behind them. "Command C. Grant" Bowie shouted. "This is my aunt Claudia's dog tag!" "You guessed it kiddo" the General said. I realized that the dog tag around my neck was not a misspelling of my name but belong to my dad. My immediate inclination was to tear it off and throw it right at the idiot MP who gave it to me. Then I realized it was the General who must have given the order to give us the dog tags. I started to feel more and more uncomfortable and the General must have caught my change in expression. "Ok" he said, "What about we take that flight" that brought Bowie and I around. As we left the gallery and walked to the airstrip more and more people stopped and saluted. "Is that Sterling's kid" I heard someone say. It made me feel self-conscious because the last thing I wanted was people to connected me to my poor excuse for a pilot dad! It wasn't until a pilot named Mitchell stopped the General and finally asked the question everyone wanted to know. "General is this Commander Sterling's daughter?" He looked over at me and with a smile and he said, "Why.yes it is" the man looked at me and said. "Ma'am, it was one of the greatest privileges I've had as a pilot to have flown with your father" I didn't know if I wanted to drop kick him in the throat or start crying right then and there. He saluted and allowed us to pass. Was it true? Was godfather Rico telling the truth about dad? Could he have been.no! It just didn't seem right. Roy Fokker, now he was a hero. He even looked like someone who a person would want to follow. He was tall and handsome. the long hair made him look like some sort of Hollywood action star. Dad on the other hand looked like he belonged in a library or even the president of some geek math group. He definitely didn't belong in a hanger! Dad wasn't a hero. I bet he wasn't even a very good pilot! When someone was in a pitch up there how could anyone count on him? I mean.he let me down! This was going through my head as we entered Fokker hanger. Men and women were at work all around. The hanger was gigantic with Veritech's of all sorts all around but right in the center was a replica of skull one. My godfathers had talked so much about skull one. How it was considered the most famous plane of the Robotech War and how dad was now the pilot responsible to command it. Bedtime stories I believed them to be but as my eyes fixed on that plane chills ran up and down my body. It was the strangest feeling that had ever come over me. And some how it all began to make sense. Seeing that plane with my own eyes was like seeing dad in a whole new light. Uncle Emerson again must of caught the change in my demeanor and called out to me from across the hanger. Loud enough for everyone to hear, "Dana Sterling, come here and see the type of plane your daddy flew." When he said that the men and women in the hanger all stopped working. I felt the weight of their stares on me. The hanger fell quite as workers and their machines all came to a stand still. The General stood by the wing and took my hand. Only three names appeared on the side of the most revered mecha that the Robotech War ever knew. Fokker, Hunter, and Sterling. As I reached to touch that last name I no longer could contain myself and the tears came down. I had hated him for leaving but the men and women all around me loved and respected him for that very reason. As I looked around the hanger as the men and women stood and saluted. Some with tears in their eyes as a response I can only imagine to my own. I understood that day who my dad really was and what importance he really had in the war. It wasn't made up myth or fairy tale told to little girl before she went to sleep. It was the true story of one of the most important people our world would ever know. We never took a flight that afternoon but as I talked to the pilots who had flown with dad or had decided to become pilots because of him I realized that hero's sometimes do come with glasses. I wore the name tags around my neck for the remainder of my time on earth. It would be almost ten years til I would see mom and dad again. But as we arrived on Tirol years later I remember that blue haired man, running up the hold calling out for me. He had the same sparkle in his eyes even though his face wore the signs of age. But as he held me it was as if time had never gone by. I finally understand what the last embraced meant to dad years before. He didn't want to let me go but he did because he knew that HIS destiny was calling him to Tirol. while my destiny was calling ME to stay on earth. My dad was Commander Maximillian Sterling, Skull leader, and Robotech hero. and the greatest fighter pilot the RDF has ever known. Good-bye daddy, I'll always love you. 


End file.
